Breakout — “Welcome to the Juggle — Fatherhood, Multitasking, and Work-life balance”

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Dad 2.014 Live Blog is presented by Microsoft Surface 2…

Welcome to the Juggle: Fatherhood, Multitasking, and Work-Life Balance: As parenting roles converge, dads are grappling with the same work-versus-family conundrum that has confounded working moms for decades. Many men are more vocal about their needs, and more eager to find ways to satisfy them, but the stigmas associated with paternity leave, or returning to work after a stretch of stay-at-home dadding, remain. “Having it all” may be a myth, but our panelists will share their experiences and solutions toward having as much as you can. (Ile de France 1)Jessica DeGroot (@thirdpathinst), Andy Herald (@andyherald), Michael Kress (@michaelkress), Adrian Kulp (@dadoralive), Mike Vardy (@mikevard

Panel introductions

Common theme.   Juggling life and kids. How can we furthering life goals but also being dads

How are dads portrayed in media?

Must make work life balance.  Must create.  Might involve turning down jobs to allow balance

Making time together COUNT

Men conditioned to be workers.  Hard to say.   I’m taking time off for this…

Making clear needs from work and family life. Men feel torn too.  Just like women

Major changes coming for dads.  We are on the cusp of change…

Family needs time to breathe – unscripted time to just be.

Healthy families and healthy workplaces — it is attainable

Businesses succeed by doing things differently- flexible and compassionate to needs of workers

No body has enough time, but when you starting viewing family and work differently- magic can happen.

Skills taught early in life will be used later in lifestyles of young adults…

Adrian looking forward to being an empty nesters!

Leave it to Beaver discussion — specific gender roles

What does it mean to be a dad in to days world?

Workaholic (Andy) — wrestling with time constantly.   guilt also

Content creator — so we are on our phones a little to document an idea – answer and possibly rationale to answer his son “put phone down daddy!”. I  work my ass of because I love it

I have been every kind of dad — force self to be present

Not wanting youngest son to get the shaft because he works too much now — more than when his other 2 were young.

New expectations on dads — not just disciplinarian need to teach morals

Dads didn’t struggle with time back then like we do now

Work life balance is a family effort.   A partnership.   Great terms to use

Be excited to have jobs we love but need time to enjoy family time also

Dads reaping benefits of involvement

Make choices — but can you create an efficient machine?

How am I being a dad when I am a dad?  Quantity vs quality time   Big difference. Just cause you are there.  Are you engaged? 

More time with kids may create financial crisis?  Where is the balance?  Economic anxiety is real. 

You can’t have it all.  Dads OR moms…. sacrifice is everywhere…

breadwinning    your job constitutes the majority of what you do

shitty job covers you in shit.  Spills over to other facets in your life..

$240 of money not made by spending an hour with kids — we can be so money driven. sad

Do you have the support of your spouse for your stress reducing times?

Nobody plans to be a stay at home dad — need to plan ME time. So essential

“Shared care” – in 2 parent house.  Still need personal time. They figured it out how best to make it work

Changed the work place… can you ask for change?

If you have spouse support for me times, a great partnership, will help relationship…

Needs change as age grows…

What is worth more?  Time or money?

What is best for kids but also for you and family as a whole?

Can’t be martyrs to the benefit of kids only.   You need to be happy…

Theme here — partnership.  Common values of family?  Need to define and agree

Around all issues.  Where we live?   Neighbourhood… meant microdecisions — money vs time…

Delivered groceries?  Repairman on weekends.  No time off work — are those family first decisions?

What is a good investment of your time?

Self awareness — is this working for me?   Taking a step back… ask spouse?   Is this working for us?

Mommy martyrdom is a killer but also a killer for dads…

Working from 10pm to 2 am is not a solution for all…

Bare minimum of time spent with kids…

As kids get older, they need you more!   Need to be connected more…

Pressure on to be connected with kids…

Fatherhood blogging.  Ironic    no time to spend time with kids

Building dad empire is costing dad time (Chris Read)

Is it our fault that we are out of balance?  Or Corporation?

We need to walk the talk — hold selves responsible for being out of balance…

Don’t underestimate the power of a mothers in creating great fathers…

If blogging about hammers, would you feel as guilty about not being home?  But because content is parenting related, we feel intense pressure

We choose this life and this path.   Need to be aware of guilt

Not a matter of being perfect but being present!

Social media — plays big role.   Doyin Richards.   Superhero dad.  Bat dad…

In shaping how we see dads!   Go Dad 2 Summit!

 Thanks panel for a great discussion… cheers.   Jeff Hay (www.thedadvibe.com)