Tom Brady inspires strong feelings in people, either as a super-model canoodler and the most blinged-out quarterback in NFL history, or as a “known cheater” and “diet pseudoscientist.” Given this polarized backdrop, it fits that his recent Instagram video launched the online parent-sphere into a bubble-wrapped uproar.
The clip features Brady and his 6-year-old daughter Vivi holding hands as they jumped off a rocky outcropping into a Costa Rican watering hole. Apparently, some felt that Vivi’s slight hesitation and subsequent awkward landing were too dangerous for their liking. It even made The Rock anxious.
The Internet loves its loud opinions, whether or not they’re justified. (It’s funny, for example, how many reports refer to “cliff-diving,” even though there’s no cliff, and they didn’t dive.) What’s the calculus here? Why assume Brady hadn’t done his due diligence in confirming their safety? And what happened next? It would help to know whether Vivi emerged enthralled or in tears.
The passionate reaction highlights a larger issue when we encourage our kids to take risks: How risky is too risky? Our first instinct is to protect, but “risk perception is like a muscle that needs to be developed and flexed.” And when Dad holds a child’s hand when she takes her first big leap, she’s far more equipped to calculate the risk when she leaps off on her own.
That’s a trust exercise with someone kids trust most, and the benefits of facing one’s fears generally offset any need for helicoptering. And we really won’t have any idea of this jump’s long-term effect until Vivi is an adult, and either running from creditors or running for Senate.
IN THE NEWS
The list of paid leave benefits is as long as your arm, and getting longer. But since employers aren’t always accommodating to dads, the reluctance lingers.
Ironically enough, the “Mad Men” model found in much of America’s collective workplace, only makes men mad.
Lackluster family leave policies often force middle-aged adults to choose between maximizing their earning potential or caring for an aging parent.
“The best flex policies are reason-blind, which allows anyone with a caregiving need of any kind at any age to get their job done in the most productive way possible.” – Jessica Grose
“It’s a cliché that parenting is hard, but what is even harder is the judgment from other members of society—parents and nonparents alike.” – Olga Mecking
“Perhaps we need to look at educating families in gender equality, rather than taking choices away from them.” – Madelaine Gnewski
Theresa May, the now-former PM, wants dads to receive 12 weeks off, four of them paid at 90% of their usual salary. Will new PM Boris Johnson follow through?
Sometimes, when it comes to kids overusing tech, the parents are to blame.
Are you a country family or a city family?
PORCHLIGHT POSTS
- “I tell him how lucky he is, just as my father told me, though I always hated when he did so; I say, ‘Because I said so,’ despite the fact it used to drive me crazy when my father said it.” – Stuart Evers; Father of the House
- “I want to see more equality in the workplace for men and women. I want to see equal parental leave and I want to see more men taking on significant caring roles within their families.” – John Adams; The Lonely Business of Fatherhood
- “You know how they say that representation in popular culture matters? It’s true. Because we saw ourselves in Jessie, we didn’t feel like some ‘other’ family.” – Matt Todd; Our Family’s Indirect Connection to Cameron Boyce
- “It is a land of snoring and silence. It is a place where lullabies live and bring peace to the world. It is freedom, it is happiness, it is anything I want it to be.” – Sigourney Humus; Bedtime is a Magical Time
- “As I walked off of the field and up to our seats, there was no adulation. No basking. No good job. Nothing.” – Mike Armstrong; The Best First Pitch of All Time
‘GRAM OF THE WEEK
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Photo by jonathan romain on Unsplash