Gay Dad Pride Is Prouder Than Ever

Doug FrenchFatherhood on Friday

It’s hard to envision Pride without the Parade. For decades, those two terms have become as conjoined as “hugs and kisses,” but lately we haven’t been allowed to do much of that, either. This weekend, as Pride Month concludes, the 50th anniversary of the Christopher Street Liberation Day March, held in New York City on June 28, 1970, will be celebrated mostly online, and most people mentioning Stonewall will be debating the next Confederate statue to take down.

One thing that this pandemic will never curb, however, is the outpouring of parental joy among gay fathers on Instagram. From celebrities like Neil Patrick Harris and Dad 2.019 keynoter Shaun T to regular couples like Papa and Daddy, from OG bloggers like Mitch and Brent to friends and contributors like Kipp and Steve, the #gaydads hashtag shows families of every shape and color, laughing and crying and coping and acting pretty much like any other Instagram family would.

This is an important (and rapid) evolution, considering that as late as 2015 several states banned adoptions by unwed couples, effectively disqualifying gay couples who weren’t yet able to marry legally. And the struggles for true equality continue, as 11 states have passed bills that allow religious groups to deny adoption and fostering to LGBT+ families.

Which is nonsense. Loving parent-child relationships need to be encouraged whenever possible, and any arrangement that offers a kid more than one father (or father figure) is a win for all involved. As millions of Instagram posts will attest.

Parades may be on hold this year, but the proud papas are still everywhere online, offering any aspiring father on the ever-broadening spectrum of sexuality a template for having a family. Happy Pride Weekend to all the dads who’ve figured that out, and all the men who want to.   

IN THE NEWS

In Detroit, three Black fathers speak candidly about the challenges of raising Black or biracial young men in today’s climate compared to their white counterparts.

For about four million dads without health insurance coverage, Father’s Day was overshadowed by worries about their own and their family’s health and well-being.

In Muncie, Indiana, the Second Chance Dads program wants companies to end their “no felons” policies, because giving men a path to success is better than locking them up.

“We’ve redefined what it means to be a woman in the workforce. Now, especially under COVID-19, we’re redefining what it means to be a father in the home.”

The Dodgers’ Mike Wescamillo spent his first Father’s Day in the NICU while his infant son awaited a new heart.

Juan Elias discusses the pressure of keeping his four- and seven-year-old sons adequately stimulated each day. “It’s hard. My brain is split, my attention is going in so many directions at once.”

That Feeling When you find some of your dad’s old letters and realize he was a bigger advocate for you then you ever knew.

Scientists are using a five-minute role play to detect the intuitive parenting skills a father has and teach the skills he never learned.

When a dad is marginalized during pregnancy, his role is largely that of a stoic supporter, and not as someone who might require support himself.

PORCHLIGHT POSTS

“Dad was extremely mechanically inclined. Sadly, he did not pass that gene along to me. In fact, I think one of the reasons he lived till 90 was so he could answer me when I asked him, ‘How do I do this?'” — Bruce Corris, Cracking the Code of Dad’s Toolbox

“To show how setting a good example is a masculine trait from home, show your child what good behavior looks like.” — Andy Earle, Teach Masculinity to Sons with Positive, Healthy Examples at Home

“At his age, I knew what the Million Man March was and stood for. Yet, he had to ask me, ‘What does that [I Can’t Breathe] sign mean?'” — Brandon Billinger, Growing Up In the Midst of A Racial Divide” 

“Next thing you know, one’s five and one’s three, and one’s almost one and she’s cutting her teeth. And you’re in his shoes.” — Thomas Rhett, Things Dads Do

“Those quiet men at the funeral, eyes rimmed red and standing uncomfortably in their suits and ties, were part of Dad’s work world. We knew nothing of them.” — Cort McMurray, I Only Met My Father’s Black Friends at His Funeral

‘GRAM OF THE WEEK

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Photo by Mercedes Mehling on Unsplash